Battling Buyer’s Remorse and Decision Fatigue

As I make my tenth pass over the bedding aisles at Target, I still have no clue which bed sheet set is the right choice. After looking at the price tag, I pick up each option to thoroughly examine and compare the details with the previous option before setting it back down to move on to the next. Don’t even get me started on colors! This process continues for what feels like days and I’m no closer to feeling good about any of the options. Grueling over the right balance of comfort, price, and how others will perceive my choice, I finally end up with a set in my cart. Once at the cash register, I see the price flash across the screen and begin to panic over the possibility that I’ve made a huge mistake.

With my cargo loaded into the car, the instant feeling of remorse and regret start to slowly creep into my mind as I set for home. “Maybe I should’ve went with one of the cheaper options. I think the shade of white on that last option would’ve been a better choice. I can’t believe I just spend that much on some fabric to sleep on. Do I even really need new sheets?” These thoughts race endlessly though my mind as I get a little too close to that car in front of me at the light, or don’t notice the ball rolling out into the street, or don’t even know what the last twenty minutes of that podcast was about. The added stress of close calls and missed opportunities weigh heavily on me as I pull up to the house and make my way inside to finally benefit from my recent purchase. I strip the old, but comfortable sheets, off my bed and start to feel the excitement as I open the brand new sheets out of their pristine packaging. I step back to marvel in my new purchase only to realize that they don’t look nearly as good as I expected. I stare at them for the next half an hour trying to imagine how they will grow on me with no avail. Not long after, I finally make the tough decision to repackage them as neatly as possible and place the old sheets back into their rightful home on my bed. Regrettably, I make my way back to Target, while beating myself up the entire way, just to stand in the return line to admit defeat.

After all was said and done, I spent the last two hours of my life just to end up where I left off. Add in the additional stress and anxiety of the entire ordeal, you can say that I was out almost half the day over a set of sheets that I actually enjoyed in the first place. As much as I would like to say this experience is rare for me, it is not. In a world where a seemingly endless number of options and variations of any and all items you could ever want or need are available at your fingertip, it can be easier than ever to fall trap to decision fatigue and buyer’s remorse. As a self-proclaimed minimalist, I have come to learn that the best option is not depending on the price or quality of an item, but rather on the true worth of that item adding happiness and value to your life. It has taken me even longer to actually enforce these principals.

From my experience as a frugal person, here is what I’ve learned to help reduce decision fatigue and prevent buyer’s remorse:

• Ask yourself “Will NOT having this item in my life make me less happy?”-- If the answer is “YES!” then it can be a sign that you may benefit from having this new item in your life. In my example, I would have saved time and stress if I would have been true to myself in knowing that I really didn’t need new white sheets to make my room look like that one Reddit post. The amount of time considering the purchase, traveling to and from the store, spending the time and energy looking through all the options, fixating on the actual implementation, and potentially returning the item could be better spent elsewhere. My grey sheets were comfortable and ended up feeling more cozy with my décor than the white sheet did in someone else’s space.

• Don’t get lost in the details-- The amount of time that can be lost in doing the research, either in person or scouring the Internet for endless reviews could be spent actually getting enjoyment out of using the product. With the advent of Amazons “no package needed, drop it off at UPS with nothing more than a barcode on your phone” returning items has never been easier. Most online retailers have made it almost effortless to return items, so why not just pull the trigger and spend a little time returning instead of spending hours sifting back and forth through all the options? Even if you buy a second hand item from a site like Craigslist or Offer Up and regret the purchase, you can most likely sell it on the same site for the original amount or more in the future.

• Find what you like and stick with it-- When it comes to buying items over and over again, like groceries, my autopilot mode kicks in. This gives me the opportunity to use that time more productively, like listen to podcasts or audiobooks. Shopping for clothes is another example of something that would normally bring me stress. To counteract this, I’ve found a few brands that I know fit me well and that I can buy from home without wasting the time it would take me to go to the mall. Sometimes this means that there is a larger price tag but frugality about cheapness. Instead, frugality means to live on less and not necessary to spend less.

• Don’t seek the validation of others-- The number of times I’ve considered what others would think about my purchase over focusing on what I actually wanted are countless. Almost ever time I do this, I end up regretting my purchase even more than when I manage not to validate others. Your experience with purchases should be just that, yours. Running through the scenario of peoples reactions to your purchase will prolong the process and create an inner dialog that builds into the fatigue.

• Sleep on it-- You’ve heard this next one a million times. If you are unsure and there is no dire need to purchase something at this exact moment, it will benefit you to get a good night's sleep and then purchase that item the next day after you’ve had some time to process the decision. The most buyer's remorse I experience normally comes directly after I wake up the next day.

• Don’t beat yourself up-- It’s easy to give yourself a hard time after you’ve made what seems like an idiotic purchase, but don’t let that be an excuse to put yourself down. Take the actions to resolve the issue and make sure that you learn from the experience for the next time that you are in the same position. At the end of the day, the strain and stress of these smaller purchase mistakes are not worth the mental space.

Conclusion– If you’re anything like me and you find yourself on the frugal side of the financial spectrum, you may find it hard to build a healthy relationship with purchases. Just like any relationship, it takes practice and patience to learn to master the skill. Focus on dedicating as much mental space as possible to tasks and activities that add to your happiness while create systems and processes to make the rest as bearable as possible. Pulling the trigger and being wrong half the time will still get you further than the time lost on spinning your wheels.